Apr 30 Reblogged
Oct 09
Sep 07
This is why men don’t come to this apartment. Because our gaseous emissions create a force field, a BARRIER if you will, that they cannot penetrate.
— Twin, after I let out one of the loudest burps in all of human history
Sep 02
Can I just pause for a moment to say I would like the whole Kardashian family to be driven off a cliff? That’s it.
— Paul, the Billing Manager
Aug 29
You could wrap a dog turd in bacon. I would eat it. That’s how great bacon is.
— My boss, Scott
Jul 10
I think I peed a lil. I’ve watched this over 18 times now. And its the best bowl of haha I’ve had in a while. That scream…
May 20
Peen before Bros
- Twin: You know what song came in my head clear as day? "Crossroads" (by Bone Thugz N Harmony)
- Me: Wow. That's like an omen. I guess tomorrow is really happening
- Twin: I guess so
- Me: No wait! It can't be the end of the world! I need peen! I have to get one last one in!
- Twin: Yeah seriously!
- Me: That would be a crazy idea for a book. If what was saving the world was you NOT having sex. What if that's what's happening now? What would you do if you found out if you had sex, the world would end?
- Twin: Then the world would fucking end
- Me: Twin!! BILLIONS of people would die!!
- Twin: HEY!...I need PEEN
May 04 Reblogged
“Some people are destined to become king. Then there’s Harry.”
More funny pics at funnypictures.co.uk
May 01
ABC News is reporting that Osama Bin Laden has been killed. I’m wary. Will this be another Tupac/Elvis thing? Will people say bin Laden’s not dead - I saw him driving a gypsy cab in the heights last week? I don’t know kids…
— ~Friend’s Facebook status
Apr 20
Happy 420 to my stoner followers :)
Thanks be the Bong
