I often wonder how people can get through life with being so stupid. Its shocking.
— Paul, the Billing Manager
I think I peed a lil. I’ve watched this over 18 times now. And its the best bowl of haha I’ve had in a while. That scream…
What’s next?! Extreme Snow Shoveling?? That’s it. We’ve hit the bottom of the barrel.
— Scott, after being told about “Extreme Couponing”
Sneak peak at marriage
- Jess: What's Anile's wife's name?
- Rick: Uh, Mrs. Anile?...
- Jess: And that's why I'm not taking your last name.
OkCupid Instant Douchery....I mean Message...
- OkCupid member: Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
- Me: I was never into math. I was too busy playing games. Like hangman. I already started this one. Pick a letter: YO_ ARE A DO_CHEBAG
- Joe: Stuck at work?
- Me: Yup.
- Joe: Quiet?
- Me: Eh. For now. Hope it stays that way.
- Joe: I doubt it would get worse as the day goes on.
- Me: Don't put that out there! Positive words! It's gonna get better. :)
- Joe: I know. Hence the doubting of it getting worse. It's ok. You went to a city college. :)
- Me: No special ed. "Doubt" and "worse" are negative terms. So even using them with positive intentions voids the well wishing and good energy. Words have power. It's ok. You went to a supposed "amazing" college.
- Joe: Actually, that's called a double negative. Which makes the sentence positive. It's ok. It's just the way smart people think. Stick that in your Pagan pipe and smoke it. :)
- Me: You live in your mom's basement.
- Joe: Now who's being negative!!.....AND IT'S A GARAGE I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW!!! >:o
The Vagina (Office) Dialogues
- Allie: I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I work here and then I wanna go straight home to sleep. I don't wanna do anything.
- Michele: Are you sad?
- Allie: No. Not really.
- Michele: Is your vagina sad?
- Allie: Sure. That's what it is. My vagina is depressed.
- Me: If your vagina is depressed, then mine is in a padded room.
- Allie: Oh no! Really?
- Me: Really. It's bad.
- Allie: I'm so sorry.
- Michele: Well my vagina is worn out. John has just worn it out!
- Allie: Your vagina is no longer welcome in this conversation.