Feb 28
Sneak peak at marriage
- Jess: What's Anile's wife's name?
- Rick: Uh, Mrs. Anile?...
- Jess: And that's why I'm not taking your last name.
Sep 08
No Sex Thank You....Just TMJ Please...
- (Convo began talking about someone I dated...)
- me: It was crazy. We had soooooo much in common
- Jessica: le sigh
- so so weird
- your jaw must have dropped to the floor quite often
- me: yes...regularly. I think I developed TMJ
- Jessica: that what she said
- me: I almost had sex last night btw....and I stopped it
- Jessica: oooh with who
- me: cuz I'm an asshole
- Jessica: what! yes
- me: lol!!
- Jessica: yes i would agree with that statement
- me: I was thinking with my loins....not with my brain. Now I know how men feel...
- Jessica: who was it? And sometimes you just need to tell you brain to fuck off btw
- me: that guy that pops up every so often...the one who promotes the comedy clubs
- Jessica: aaah...he has a big one doesn't he. Haha! Can't believe i just asked that...
- me: he doesn't actually!! I was so surprised!
- Jessica: Damn. So why did you stop it?
- me: Not that he was small. I wasn't too sure at the time. Cuz normally when something like this has happened....the Universe steps in and says NO....and has the person pass out....or someone gets sick suddenly...or a mythical creature enters and destroys the living room....etc. Something ridiculous always happens so that way there's no way anything can happen. But nothing happened this time. It was like I was waiting for it. And since a Sphinx didnt come strolling into the room to say "Hey! Cut that shit out!"....I stopped it out of habbit
- But in hindsight....I think I might be doing the ole, "WTF was I thinking!" speech this morning if I had. Mercury Retrograde makes you think/do/say crazy things
- Also...he got me at my most horniest...a week after my period...
- I would try and hump a gay man right now. So that didn't help anything
- Jessica: so was he disappointed
- me: of course he was. He's Irish and a man. His face was blue...among other things...
- Jessica: lol
- me: btw....this old grey mare just aint what she used to be...lemme tell ya
- the inside of my thighs are killing me
- Jessica: haha
- me: if I think there's a potential sexapade in the future...I'm going to excuse myself and stretch for at least 15 minutes beforehand
- Jessica: well, do you regret it? Not doing it?
- me: Not really. Which I think is a good sign. My lady parts however refuse to talk to me today...
- Jessica: then no harm no foul. Although next time you hang with him, if there is a next time, he's probably not going to let it escalate. Unless you come down with a case of TMJ
- me: that was like a perfect end to a vaudville skit. I fill like we should do a jig with our canes and top hats...
